This Is What Matters.

Thursday, July 19, 2012



Last night, I was suffering from a bit of insomnia (welcome to my life), so I headed out to the living room, turned on some recorded Jimmy Fallon, and (of course) opened my computer to catch up on all things creative. Unfortunately, I fell into the same routine that I have done one too many times these last few years--I began comparing myself. To other women, to other blogs, to other mothers, friends, Etsy shops, designers, decorators, cooks, homemakers...you name it, I envied it. Soon enough, the same thoughts began to run through my head, from "Why isn't my blog as popular as hers?", to, "If we only had another bedroom, THEN I could make an office just like that one", and, "I wish we had more money, THEN we could redo the kitchen backsplash." I quickly became unsatisfied with my life. Jealous.

But then, a sound pulled me from my disgruntled-ness. Parker had woken up and started to fuss--something he usually does at around 3am--so I did what I usually do and went back in to our room to stick his paci in and wait for him to go back to sleep. As I rested my hand on his little cheek, his breathing immediately slowed, his arms stilled, and (sure enough) he fell asleep. He was so happy, so content, to have his momma there. Just me. That's when it hit: None of that--those things that I worry about and compare myself to, really matter. At all. Sure, I love blogging, I LOVE the women I have met through blogging, I love Etsy, I love decorating and fashion, but in the end... I am here to be a good wife, a good mother, and a good (and genuine) friend.

My little boy loves me for me. He could care less that his mother made X amount of Etsy sales last month, or has X amount of followers, or turned such-and-such room into the best "Before and After" on the planet. All he needs to be happy are his mommy and daddy. If there is one thing I have learned from being a mother, it is how crucial it is to learn how our children perceive the world--and then live that way.

I don't exactly know why I'm sharing something so personal--I guess it was just heavy on my heart this morning. I am SO happy to be back to blogging, back to Etsy, and back to gaining inspiration in this hugely creative online world, but I am going to do my best to take it all in with a grain of salt--something that I know will be hard in this "Pinterest perfect" world. I hope that you all know that whatever you see here on my blog is just a teeny-tiny sliver of my real life. Like one percent. No, half a percent. The pretty parts, if you get my drift. ;) The other 99.5% is a completely awkward, hectic, but beautiful mess.

  I need to stop myself before I ramble anymore... I am so happy that each of you read and hope I didn't offend anyone with this post. I am so thankful to my sweet Parker for teaching me more than I have ever learned about life in these last (almost) three months. Let's all enjoy the messy and imperfect, eh? (Apparently I am Canadian now.)


Have a great day!

24 comments:

  1. Amen. Doesn't matter but that you are doing the most important thing-being a good momma. Good job keeping your priorities straight :)

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    1. Thank you, Rebecca! It's a hard thing to do sometimes :).

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  2. I don't usually comment on blogs I follow, I just usually read what people have to say, look at pictures and move on. But I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Its easy to fall into that feeling of "if only." That was a beautifully written post and it was a great reminder for others who fall into that "if only" trap occasionally. That beautiful little boy is what matters most and what you'll remember when you look back years from now.

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  3. Great post girl! It's funny, I read your blog and I'm like wow, her house is so adorable and she has such a cute baby and her life just seems so awesome...so I totally appreciate you being so genuine! I think all bloggers forget that we all only put the pretty parts of our life on display and even the most "perfect" seeming bloggers do not have perfect lives. It's such a struggle because I too love reading blogs and looking at Pinterest for inspiration, but it's just such a fine line between admiring someones blog/crafts/home/life and envying it/becoming discontented with your own because it totally happens to me too. This post was a great reminder to really focus on what's important, thanks so much for being real! :)

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  4. I love this so much!! I was just talking to my husband about this same thing the other day- how hard it is to not compare myself to tons of other women and their blogs and their pretty houses, since blogging forces me to see all those things about other people every single day. I absolutely love blogging and I get tons and tons of good ideas from people that I would never have the brains to think up on my own, but the downside to it is that sometimes instead of just being proud of how far my little blog has come, all I can think of is "well she's been blogging less time than me and has 4x's the followers and 10x's the traffic so she must be way better"...and then it's hard not to just feel kinda bummed. Your post is such a good reminder that really all that matters is my husband and my kiddos and that I'm a wife and mother FIRST, and a blogger, like, 1,000th...or something...if that makes sense. :) Anyways I'm babbling now, but thanks for the great post and the important reminder!

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  5. Hi Katy,
    From someone who recently started reading and following your blog, I just want to let you know how much I enjoy coming here. I'm loving watching Parker grow, and you've given me so much decor inspiration for my home. I think you've got incredible talent and your eyes set on what's most important...your family. :)

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  6. the quote that always tells it like it is....
    comparison is the thief of joy
    it's SO true. don't compare yourself... you can't. you know why? because you are totally one hundred percent unique- we all are! there is no comparing.

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  7. I so needed to read this today. It IS so easy to get caught up in what you don't have and you lose sight of all the things you are blessed with. Just one more reason I love this blog Miss Katy!

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  8. Oh I totally do the same thing...I think it's what pushes us to do more and get creative at the end of then day. But dealing with it is not easy!! Your blog is AMAZING...still dying over the nursery...and you have such a strong voice. I love popping over here every time you post! It brightens my day!! XO

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  9. It is sooo tough not to compare yourself to others in today's social media world! I have to really disconnect sometimes and try to realize I'm me and I'm here for my family as well.

    Someone turned me onto this blog and maybe you will find it helps you as well. It's called HandsFreeMama.com . She had to teach herself to realize what is important (her family) and not to overwhelm herself with comparisons and distractions.

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  10. What a lucky little baby to have you for a mommy! I've been ready your blog for a few months. Your doing a great job. Enjoy that baby! Mine are 26, 22 years old and I've been blessed with 2 year old grand daughter and a 1 month old grandson.

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  11. Such a great post! It actually made me tear up a little. This hit home a lot for me because I've been a nutcase making sure our entire house, and especially the nursery, are magazine-worthy before our son arrives in October... because I'm sure my newborn will judge me immediately, right? ha! Nice to remember what really matters!

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  12. Hi Katy, I'm so glad you wrote this! There are times when I feel like pinterest and blogs will be my ruin - it's soo easy to start comparing yourself and trying to copycat everyone else! I'm realising I need to be really conscious to avoid them sometimes - especially when I want to do something creative. I'm glad to read I'm not the only one! What a blessing to have such a lovely son too. :)
    xoAmy

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    1. Yes, sometimes Pinterest is my biggest enemy! It has kind of sucked away my creativity too. :) And thank you!

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  13. As you probably know already, you are NOT the only one that has these moments. I know I have them all the time. It's so easy to begin to compare oneself to others whether its their blog, family, house, clothes, job etc. But do not fret because you have a wonderful life that was made specifically for you. I personally think you have a pretty awesome life at that :)

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement, Vicky :). I try to remember that my life is perfect for me!

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  14. I couldn't agree more, Katy! Sometimes it gets really hard looking at all the beautiful people/blogs out there in the blogosphere. It becomes degrading and you definitely want to pick yourself apart... but just like you said, something pulls you back down to reality and you realize what is truly important... which are the exact things you mentioned. Thank you for sharing, this definitely opened my eyes as well.

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  15. Katy -

    I read this today while I should have been working (AHH!) but I just wanted you to know how SPECIAL you are! Isn't it appalling how the devil can sit on our shoulders sometimes and fill our minds with such untrue things?? You are a wonderful mother, crafter, cook, designer, friend, daughter, Christian, and wife. We all have those days when we just truly believe we "don't measure up." Thank the Lord we have wonderful people in our lives who can lift us up and help us out of that.

    Read Psalm 71 today. You'll be glad you did! :)

    Psalm 71:20-21
    Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again;
    from the depths of the earth
    you will again bring me up.
    You will increase my honor
    and comfort me once more.

    I love you!!!

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  16. Those pictures of Parker & Bryan are so stinking cute!!! I can't wait to meet that little guy :)

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  17. this is a beautiful post and SO true! i fall into that comparison slump every now and then - i think everyone does. thank you so much for sharing this!

    you have a beautiful blog and family, and a wonderful talent in design!

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  18. this is a beautiful post and SO true! i fall into that comparison slump every now and then - i think everyone does. thank you so much for sharing this!

    you have a beautiful blog and family, and a wonderful talent in design!

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    1. No problem! It is so comforting to know that we all stuggle with this :). Thank you so much! That means a lot, Laura!

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  19. really really adorable photos!! oh my gosh what a cutie

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