This Is What Matters.

Last night, I was suffering from a bit of insomnia (welcome to my life), so I headed out to the living room, turned on some recorded Jimmy Fallon, and (of course) opened my computer to catch up on all things creative. Unfortunately, I fell into the same routine that I have done one too many times these last few years--I began comparing myself. To other women, to other blogs, to other mothers, friends, Etsy shops, designers, decorators, cooks, homemakers...you name it, I envied it. Soon enough, the same thoughts began to run through my head, from "Why isn't my blog as popular as hers?", to, "If we only had another bedroom, THEN I could make an office just like that one", and, "I wish we had more money, THEN we could redo the kitchen backsplash." I quickly became unsatisfied with my life. Jealous.

But then, a sound pulled me from my disgruntled-ness. Parker had woken up and started to fuss--something he usually does at around 3am--so I did what I usually do and went back in to our room to stick his paci in and wait for him to go back to sleep. As I rested my hand on his little cheek, his breathing immediately slowed, his arms stilled, and (sure enough) he fell asleep. He was so happy, so content, to have his momma there. Just me. That's when it hit: None of that--those things that I worry about and compare myself to, really matter. At all. Sure, I love blogging, I LOVE the women I have met through blogging, I love Etsy, I love decorating and fashion, but in the end... I am here to be a good wife, a good mother, and a good (and genuine) friend.

My little boy loves me for me. He could care less that his mother made X amount of Etsy sales last month, or has X amount of followers, or turned such-and-such room into the best "Before and After" on the planet. All he needs to be happy are his mommy and daddy. If there is one thing I have learned from being a mother, it is how crucial it is to learn how our children perceive the world--and then live that way.

I don't exactly know why I'm sharing something so personal--I guess it was just heavy on my heart this morning. I am SO happy to be back to blogging, back to Etsy, and back to gaining inspiration in this hugely creative online world, but I am going to do my best to take it all in with a grain of salt--something that I know will be hard in this "Pinterest perfect" world. I hope that you all know that whatever you see here on my blog is just a teeny-tiny sliver of my real life. Like one percent. No, half a percent. The pretty parts, if you get my drift. ;) The other 99.5% is a completely awkward, hectic, but beautiful mess.

  I need to stop myself before I ramble anymore... I am so happy that each of you read and hope I didn't offend anyone with this post. I am so thankful to my sweet Parker for teaching me more than I have ever learned about life in these last (almost) three months. Let's all enjoy the messy and imperfect, eh? (Apparently I am Canadian now.)

Have a great day!